Sunday, January 22, 2012

Confession.

I have a confession to make.  Ready to get all judgmental on me?

I really don't enjoy bath time.  Not my own, although you may think so with as infrequently as I shower these days.  But that really is just a lack of time.  And not baby bath time.  That's pretty straightforward, very easy, and they're blissfully calm in the tub.

It's Brennan's bath time.  I love that boy with every ounce of my being.  But by the end of the day, I'm tired and my patience is warn thin, he is whiny and wild, and that, my friends, is not a good combo.  I know, it's supposed to be a time where I can enjoy him and we can play with duckies and give shampoo mo-hawks.  But honestly?  I don't like it.  In fact, I kind of dread it.

Sometimes I wonder if it's because the only time I do bath time is when I've been home alone all day and Brian isn't home by bedtime.  Bath time is usually their special Daddy/Brennan time while I tend to the twins and clean up the house.  So on the rare occurance that I actually have bath duty, it's usually because Daddy is working late and the kid resembles Pig Pen from the Peanuts.  And after an entire day of being home by myself with my boys my nerves are usually shot.  When it's convenient, I'm more than happy to have Brennan join me in the shower, but that's not usually practical in the evenings when I'm home by myself with the kids.  And I LOVE to do our bedtime routine after his bath.  But I honestly can't stand bath time.  And you know what?  I'm OK with that.  It's Brian and Brennan's special time.  And while I'll fill in when need be, I'll let them have their time together most nights.

I love my boys more than life itself; most moms will tell you that.  But there are women out there who would never admit that they need time away from their kids.  I'm not one of them.  I love being home with my boys every day.  But with 2 infants and a toddler, it's a very busy day.  And I know my limits.  I think that it makes me a better mom to acknowledge my weaknesses and focus on my strengths.  The fact that I don't enjoy every tiny aspect to motherhood doesn't make me a bad mom; it makes me human.

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I write for me. 100%. BUT it definitely makes my day when someone tells me that they enjoy reading my blog. Or that they hate it. Whatev.

So don't spare me your words of wisdom, encouragement, or mindless babble. I enjoy it all :)