I'm feeling free people.
Well, maybe not free, but definitely free-er.
For most of the last year, I've felt caged. Getting out of the house was difficult with a toddler and being pregnant with twins. Once the twins were born, well, that caged-in feeling is pretty understandable in that circumstance. But the boys are getting older and it's getting progressively easier to get out of the house with them.
Most of our expeditions have been walks, play dates, or to meet Daddy somewhere. All relatively easy things. But I was hesitant to stray too far from home or go somewhere without another adult to help out.
Then one (terrible, awful, hectic) day, Brennan begged me to go to the zoo. For whatever reason, I thought "Why not? I need to get out of this house!" So off we went ... and we survived. And apparently we started a trend for ourselves.
Wednesday we ventured out for a play date with another family who experiences the same chaos as we do every day. I was amazed to find another mom in town who has a 3 year old boy and 8 month old twin boys. We had a blast during our time together and my new friend and I were able to commiserate and swap tips on handling this crazy life.
Yesterday we braved Target. This was a huge milestone for me as I just wasn't sure how to logistically handle it. I needed diapers and formula, so I needed a cart, which ruled out the double stroller. My solution was to put Beckett in the Boba carrier, Kiernan in the cart (he's a more solid sitter these days), and let Brennan walk with me. I had visions of Brennan running wild through the store, but for the most part he stayed right next to me with minimal harping from his Mommy. I got no fewer than 8 comments during my 45 minutes in the store and Kiernan was mistaken for a girl twice (Even though he was in orange, brown, and gray with a shirt that says "Mommy's Little Tiger". I guess it could go either way, but my first instinct wouldn't be girl.) But we survived and it was actually really nice to be out and about with my boys.
It feels really really really good to have accomplish what has seemed like an insurmountable task. There are certain things I haven't done yet because of my anxiety (taken them to the park by myself) and other things I haven't done yet because I'm not an idiot (taken them to the beach by myself). Someday I'll conquer the anxiety ones, but for now I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. Who knew I could do this whole 'Mom of 3 under 3' thing? And do it fairly well?