Thursday, November 15, 2012

In this moment.

Today was one of those days that just seemed like it would never end.  

I have 2394723 things on my to-do list and just can't seem to cross off even ONE.  As soon as I clean up one mess, another appears.  I try to sit down to work on school work and someone starts screaming.  I try to do some laundry and someone is wrapped around my leg begging for something.  Everyone is sick and some are teething and others are just ... needy.  I just feel like there isn't enough of me to go around.  

And after several days of doing everything for everyone except for myself, I just can't do it anymore.  I call Brian at 4:30 and tell him it's time to come home before I lose it.  I know my breaking point now, and I'm almost there.  I just need 5 minutes to myself.  That's all.  5 minutes.

But that's not going to happen, so I swallow the lump in my throat and march to Brennan's room and collapse on his bed.  And of course my 3 little shadows follow and pile on top of me and the wrestling match begins.  I'm buried beneath bellies and kisses and giggles - stress and anxiety and all.  For the moment, I forget and laugh with my boys and try to freeze time for just a few minutes to remember this.  This beautiful, fleeting time when they want nothing more than to be around me.


I have to make me a priority.  To stay healthy.  To stay happy.  To stay sane.  To stay in this moment so that I can enjoy it instead of living for what comes next.    

1 comment:

I write for me. 100%. BUT it definitely makes my day when someone tells me that they enjoy reading my blog. Or that they hate it. Whatev.

So don't spare me your words of wisdom, encouragement, or mindless babble. I enjoy it all :)