Rage.

We are 45 minutes from home.

There are 2800 miles on the trip odometer of the good ol' Edge.

The three little boys in the backseat are filled with rage.  Rage at their toys.  Rage at their clothes.  Rage at their parents.  Rage at THE WORLD.

But there are palm trees in sight and sunshine on my face and the thermometer says 72 so I know it'll all be okay soon.

Anxious.

ohhhhhhh boy am I feelin' it.

There's too much to do and too little time and the days feel short and never-ending at the same time.

Today was supposed to be dedicated to cleaning and instead my house is more of a mess than it was this morning.  Instead of cleaning it took all I could do to just keep it together today.  By the time Brian walked in the door this evening I could feel the anxiety bubbling up in my throat and I knew I just had to get out.

A stroll around Home Depot and Publix did me a world of good.  I just needed to be out.  Out of the clutter and chaos and noise.  Alone in my thoughts.  Not responsible for anyone or anything but myself.  I count my blessings every day for a husband who can just pick up where I left off so that I can flee when I feel it rising.

The next few days are going to be tough for me.  There are too many thoughts spinning around in my head and no matter how many lists I make or how I try to organize it all on a calendar, it just doesn't stop.  Things will be forgotten or just plain skipped and there isn't much I can to about it other than to remind myself to just give it to Jesus.  I'm so not good at that.

Instadump {12.17.2012}..

I have zero time to blog lately, but I'm aching to write.  So instead, I'll dump all my Instagram pics for the last 2 weeks on you.  You're welcome.

Chairs.  Food.  Germs.  We share it all in this family.  Until we don't want to and then we beat/bite each other.

Bounce house = baby heaven.  But only after the big kids are out of it.  Otherwise, bounce house = OMGthey'retryingtokillme!!!!

Wordless Wednesday {12.5.2012}.

:: sigh ::

This boy.  I adore him.