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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Live and learn.

Can you remember a time in your life when you were really, really happy with your body? I can't. Wait, lemme think ... OK, yeah, nope, still nothing.

So when I'm perusing through old pictures and come across pictures like this one ...

and this one....

... I can't help but want to reach out and shake this girl. REALLY? You thought you were fat?! That body was healthy. Not the skinniest I'd ever been ... still some meat on my bones. But HEALTHY. And beautiful. I'd KILL for that body right now. Hell, I'd kill for that body plus 15 pounds right now!

This isn't me hating on my current body. Clearly, I'm going to be at my heaviest weight ever when I'm carrying around 2 extra people inside my belly. And it's not me hating on my body before I got pregnant. Working nights, aging, a previous pregnancy, and motherhood have changed it over the years. When you're carrying around an extra 40 pounds of baby and stuff, you find yourself longing for your former body, which you thought was gross. And not even the old old one. I'm just anxious to have the old one back so I can work on getting back to the old old one. Or somewhat close. I've accepted that and will strive to get healthier after I have these boys, not for vanity sake, but for my emotional and physical health. I want to be a fit, healthy mom for my boys. But still, that's not what this post is about.

It's about perspective. I wish I'd had the perspective years ago to look at myself and my body with pride. I wish I would've felt comfortable in my own skin. I want to tell that girl from years ago to enjoy herself the way she is. Because life catches up to you too quickly to dwell on things like appearance. Focus on health and the other things will fall into place.

Oh, and P.S. Sister, he loves you for you, not for what you look like. Because otherwise, he wouldn't build a wonderful life with you and bring 3 beautiful boys into the world with you. So just date him already.

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