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Saturday, August 20, 2011

Flutters.

There aren't many things I'll miss about being pregnant.  In fact, there's really only one. 

I've been laying in bed for almost an hour and a half.  Everyone else is sound asleep, but not me.  And tonight its not because of restless legs or contractions or ligament pain.  It's because of the flurry of activity going on in my belly.  Am I exhausted?  Yes.  Would I kill for some sleep right now?  Of course.  But I'm not upset about losing sleep tonight.  Instead, I'm savoring this feeling and tucking it away in my memory bank.

Feeling your child(ren) move inside you is an amazing feeling - a privilege I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to experience.  From the very first flutters, I've felt a special bond with these boys, just like I did with Brennan.  I'm their mom and I'd give up my life for them.  And those little flutters remind me of that every day, just like Brennan's hugs and kisses do now.  It's something no one else will ever experience with them.  The selfish part of me loves that fact and I don't feel guilty because I've given up my body for them, and will continue to do so.

So I'll take this lack of sleep and enjoy my boys tonight, because I know its just a matter of time before they'll be on the outside and I'll have to share them with the rest of the world.

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