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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Single Motherdom

So let me first say that I know there are plenty of women who either chose to be a single mom or had it chosen for them. And kudos to them for doing something so incredibly challenging. Personally, I'm not cut out for it.

Yes, I can handle it. I have to be able to handle it. I'm a very capable woman, but this is incredibly hard. I think the hardest part for me is that I'm used to getting a little "break" or at least some moral support. Since Brennan was born, I've been his primary caretaker. I worked nights and part-time, so I was able to be home with him most of the time. But when Brian would get home from work, there was someone else to be on baby duty. No, I didn't go run and hide the minute he walked in the door. I'd cook dinner, we'd eat and talk about our days, and spend quality time as a family. Bottom line: there was someone else there to back me up. I could leave the room without too much whining or being followed. Or there was someone else to take a turn in the rocking chair during a fussy night.

But right now, it's just me. Our friends and family have been an amazing amount of help. Brennan has had a few sleepovers at Grandma & Grandpa's or Grammy & Grampy's so that Mommy can have a little break. And I find myself wandering over to my parents' house every once in awhile to let the multitude of Brennan-loving adults chase him around. Maybe part of it is needing adult-companionship along with needing a little break. Either way, I appreciate having a place to go to when I'm feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. I love my kiddo with all my heart and look forward to my days as a SAHM ... but I think I'll like it much more with my hubby by my side!

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