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Sunday, December 12, 2010


While living so far away from my hubby is definitely difficult for Brennan and me, sometimes I forget that it's hard on Brian too. It's not the same kind of difficult. Mine is the "busy" kind. I'm busy with school, keeping up the house, packing, and chasing a baby around. Throw in a couple of dogs (who coincidently just had some kind of stomach "flu") and it's constant chaos. My head is always spinning, I'm completely exhausted, and busier than I've ever been. To me, it's obvious that I got the raw end of the deal.

At first, when I stop to think about what Brian's days are like, it sounds like heaven. He goes to work, comes home, runs the dog, and can get as much sleep as he wants. Don't get me wrong, I whole-heartedly appreciate him for everything he does for our family. He works hard to support us, especially since he is now the only provider for our family. But he has very little day-to-day responsibility. A part of me would switch places with him in a heart beat. But then, a day like today snaps me back to reality.

While I know that it must be hard for Brian to be so far away and miss Brennan and me so much, sometimes I forget how much of Brennan's life he is missing right now. Shortly before Brian came home for Thanksgiving, Brennan started taking more and more steps. While he's been taking a step or two in a row here and there, he was starting to more confidently take 4 or 5 in a row. Brian was shocked at this development and I was happy that he was home to see it. I didn't think much to the future and how much more he would miss than what he would actually be able to see. In the last few weeks, Brennan has really gotten the hang of this whole walking thing. He is just trottin' around like a little man.

It didn't occur to me that poor Brian is missing all of this until today. We were talking on Skype when Brennan hopped down off of my lap and toddled across the room. I was telling Brennan not to get into something when Brian said, "Can I see him walk?" I adjusted the webcam and he was able to see Brennan walking around like he owned the place. As much as I love to watch Brennan walk, the look on Brian's face was even more incredible to look at at the moment. He was so excited, so proud, but at the same moment, disappointed by the realization that he's missing out on pieces of Brennan's life.

I thank God for technology like Skype so that Brian is able to see Brennan grow and change and so that we are able to see his face while we're separated. It has made living 1000 miles away from each other a little bit easier. But I can't wait for the day that we are able to live together again as a family.

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