The terrible, horrible, no good, completely suck-ass day.

That's the title of that kid's book, right?  Yeah, that's what I thought.

If you follow me on Instagram (@imflyingsouth), you had the pleasure of seeing this gem the other day:

Honest to God, it was one of the craziest days I've had in awhile.  The kind of day that 9 months ago, before therapy and Paxil, would have left me crying in the corner with a beer in my hand, on the phone with Brian begging him to come home.  Can we just pause for a moment and celebrate the fact that now when I have one of those days you can find me in the middle of it all, laughing (and wishing I had a beer in my hand, but I'm off the booze til after my race ... sue me, I like my beer), on the phone with Brian telling him that it's no problem that his boss wants him to stay late?  Yeah, I've come a long way.

Running in the dark: A paranoid girl's PSA.

OK, this is just a little PSA for all of the women runners out there.

I've been doing a lot more running outside lately and I've noticed something that kinda bothers me.  Alright, not kinda.  It totally makes me cringe and want to stop these girls and shake them ... but that would probably be frowned upon.

It's amazing to me the amount of women who run in the dusk/dark ... by themselves ... with headphones in their ears.  I mean, are you asking to get assaulted/abducted/raped/murdered????

Look, I get it.  We live in Florida where it's hot as balls during the day.  I run in the morning and evening to avoid these temps too.  But I try to make sure that the sun will either rise while I'm running, or set while I'm running, so that my whole run isn't in the dark.  And if it's going to be dark at any point during my run, I take one of the dogs with me ... usually Cooper, because he might look friendly, but I've seen him take down some fairly large animals before and he is NO JOKE when he's upset with something.

Just run.

I have less than a month before my race.  ::cold sweat::

I'm behind on my training.  Not because I can't physically do it, but because some days I have just a big giant mental block when it comes to getting out there and getting it done.  I doubt my ability to run well outside.  I doubt my ability to keep going.  I doubt my ability to run faster.  I doubt my ability to ever become a "runner".

But yesterday I had a moment of clarity.  I was 1.5 miles into a 4 mile run.  Feeling intimidated, frustrated, and uncomfortable.  I stopped to let a little girl pet Cooper and walked for a bit.  Then kept walking.  I knew I should have been running, and I wasn't sure why I wasn't.  I just couldn't bring myself to start up again.  I felt heavy.

I have a new blog follower (HI SAMANTHA!) so I guess I should actually blog.

Creepy?  Eh, whatev.

So..... I have been a just plain shitty blogger lately.  

I have 12 half finished drafts sitting in my computer, twiddling their thumbs, waiting to be finished.  Or at least they would be if drafts had thumbs.  In my head I picture them as pieces of paper with Sponge Bob-esque arms.  No, I'm not drinking.  Or smoking.  Or sniffing anything.  I just don't talk to adults for most of the day so my mind tends to wander.  But considering my kids are one million times cuter than any adult I've ever met, I'll deal with the wandering mind.  It makes life interesting.

Almost intolerable cuteness - Exhibit A - Mr. Beckett

No but really, what DID I do with my time before I had kids?

It was 8:00 p.m. on a Tuesday night.  Brennan was in Michigan with my parents and Beckett & Kiernan had been tucked into bed for an hour.  The dishes were done, the house was picked up, and Brian had just returned from a run with the dogs. 

As he sat there and stretched, he turned to me and asked “What do people without kids do?” 

I stopped.  After thinking for a moment I replied, “ Honestly, I don’t remember.” 

I remember thinking I was busy before I had kids.  I remember feeling stress over not having enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needed to be done.  My nursing job allowed me to work (full time) 3 nights per week.  My house was messy.  I wasn’t in school.  And yet I still felt terribly busy.  I knew life would get busier once we had kids, but it wasn’t easy to wrap my brain around just how busy it would be. 

Basket case, er, head.

Mr. Beckett loves to put things on his head.  Boxes, blankets, bowls, baskets, even the occasional hat.  

His current headgear of choice is a little blue wire basket I bought at the dollar store for the twins' birthday party.  He loooooves this thing.  A battle of epic proportions takes place if one of his brothers dares to take it off of his head.  We also have a yellow one, but apparently it isn't the same, because the blue one is definitely the favorite.  

It's little things like this that I love and want to remember for forever.  A little quirk that makes him an individual in my litter of boys. Just another reason to love him even more than I ever thought possible.

 

Brennan's big adventure.

::peeks sheepishly to the left and right::

Hello?  Anybody still here?

To say life has been busy lately would be an understatement.  It's swirling around me and I'm trying desperately to keep my head above water.  Not in a bad way, just in a "Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!" kind of way.

But this past weekend was a great break from the chaos.  My parents came into town for a visit.  We spent time in the pool at their hotel, at the beach, relaxing at our house, playing at the park, and going out to eat ... a lot.   More than anything we just spent lots of time enjoying each other's company.  I love to watch my boys interacting with their grandparents.  It's such a special relationship to watch form and grow.

Kiernan, Grammy, Brennan, Grampy, & Beckett