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Monday, October 15, 2012

The terrible, horrible, no good, completely suck-ass day.

That's the title of that kid's book, right?  Yeah, that's what I thought.

If you follow me on Instagram (@imflyingsouth), you had the pleasure of seeing this gem the other day:

Honest to God, it was one of the craziest days I've had in awhile.  The kind of day that 9 months ago, before therapy and Paxil, would have left me crying in the corner with a beer in my hand, on the phone with Brian begging him to come home.  Can we just pause for a moment and celebrate the fact that now when I have one of those days you can find me in the middle of it all, laughing (and wishing I had a beer in my hand, but I'm off the booze til after my race ... sue me, I like my beer), on the phone with Brian telling him that it's no problem that his boss wants him to stay late?  Yeah, I've come a long way.

Anyways, the day started out extra early because Kiernan wasn't feeling well and decided to show me his adorable face at 5am.  Amazingly, it's not as adorable at 5am.  OK, that's a lie.  It totally is ... it's just annoying too. What is even more annoying is finding dog poop on my family room carpet.  So after picking that up, I went to get Kiernan some milk.  While I was pouring, he toddled out to me with something in his fist.  Any guesses???  Yep, dog poop.  Slobbery dog poop, actually, which was an extra treat.  So after he was disinfected (from the outside anyways) he toddled off and I continued with the pouring of the milk and heard a crash come from the bathroom.  Apparently Daddy had broken Golden Rule #1 - Always close the bathroom door on the way to retrieve a baby from their bed.  I ran to the bathroom only to discover Kiernan sitting in a pool of pee, the pieces of Brennan's potty chair scattered around him.  Cue "I'm going to kill my husband" thoughts.  And any situation that involves bodily fluid - of either the K9 or human variety - requires immediate attention and therefore are not photo appropriate.  Catch them hanging upside down from a moving ceiling fan though, and we're in business.  Into the bathtub he went, protesting all the way.

(This is one of Kiernan's (many) angry faces.  I'm telling you, if looks could kill, I should be a cat.  No, I should be 65465165 cats.)

Kiernan's dramatic commotion woke Brennan at 5:30am, who was of course in a BLISSFUL mood, demanding milk and Mickey Mouse, like, yesterday Mommy.  He was angry when Kiernan even looked in his general direction, much less came at him to give him "kisses".  And since Brennan's only volume level is LOUD, Beckett was up by 6:00am.

The rest of the day was just chaos.  Naptimes were early and not as long.  Everyone was crabby, but at the same time hyper.  I didn't take photos, but here's an idea of how the day went from photos taken on other days...

This happened.

Then probably this.

Followed by this.

Then something like this.

Yeah, this definitely didn't happen.

Oh but this did.

And this.


Hahahahahaha not a chance.

Oh yeah.  This.  Again.

Then came the afternoon nap, which was way too short.  Of course, no one synchronized their naps and 2 out of 3 required snuggling, bouncing, rocking, etc to get to sleep.  And clearly no one was happy when they woke up.  Beckett and Kiernan are at that age when they want to be with me at all times, so while I was cleaning the kitchen and trying get dinner ready at the same time (look people, the only way I survive is by doing weird things at the same time), they stood at the gate and screamed their little heads off til I decided to just let them roam so that I could get something accomplished.

(It looked a little something like this.  I can only tune it out for so long.  I'm confident you'd make the same value your ears too, right?)

Um, big mistake.  Huge.  (Pretty Woman?  Anyone?  No? OK...)  Because then the chaos just continued, except that it was no longer contained to the baby-proofed area.  Brennan came flying up behind me at one point and slammed into me while I had my phone in my hand and it went flying into the sink full of soapy water.  The twins found an almost empty box of rice I had throw into the trash and decided to empty the remnants all over the floor.  Brennan found a cheapo bracelet in my jewelry box (or treasure chest as he calls it) while I was in the bathroom, carried it into the kitchen, and promptly broke it, sending beads all over the floor and me into a frenzy, grabbing the twins before anyone managed to shove one in their mouths.  They emptied my tupperware and pots and pans from the cupboards and used spice jars as maracas.  Photo time again!  Ready, set, ....

This happened.  The spice cupboard is a favorite.  Whoever lower cabinet spice racks clearly didn't have children ... and never met any children ... and is just a giant dumbass.

And this happened.  Poor fish.  And poor Mommy who gets to pick up all of the books and photo frames that get ripped from the shelves.

Of course once his brothers emptied the cabinets (shelf liners and all) Brennan took full advantage.

And what would playtime be without a psychotic, seizure-like roll around the rug?  It would be boring.  Clearly.  Or else he wouldn't do it on a daily basis.

Hmmm, let's see.  What else?  Oh.  Yeah.

Kiernan found a box of dog biscuits in one cupboard and dumped them all over his lap and the floor....
(Notice the blurry kid in the pajama top and underpants at 3:00 in the afternoon?  Yeah...)
Beckett emptied my cupboard full of plastic grocery bags, while wearing a colander on his head the entire time ....
(I took this photo before I thought it could get worse.  Ha.  Ha.  Hahahahahahahahahahaha...)
Brennan found a bag full of plastic silverware and dumped it all over the floor for his brothers to play with....
(At least they had fun?)

By the time Brian walked through the door for dinner, my house looked like a hurricane had blown through.  I was still in the clothes I had thrown on in a hurry that morning (and hadn't added a bra til probably 2pm), my hair was in a knot on the very top of my head, and I don't think I had brushed my teeth all day long.

(Honestly, this doesn't even begin to do it justice. ..)

But you know what?  I wasn't crying.  I just took it in stride.  Days are going to be like that sometimes when you have 3 boys under the age of 3.  That's what I'm choosing to focus on.

Besides, it's hard to get too upset when you're surrounded by faces that cute.


  1. and good for in, yay for coming a long way and not drinking said beer. ;)

  2. Kelli, I'm just reading some of your older stuff and it's killing me! You are hilarious! Love to hear your stories. I think of you any time my one, non-walking, non-climbing girl gives me any trouble. Miss you!

    1. Kim! It's great to hear from you! I love reading your updates from across the globe :) Miss you too lady!


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