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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I quit.

Today I told Brian that I quit.

He's going to have to find someone else to do this job because for the past few days I feel like I'm not cut out for it.

These boys are killing me.  One ear-piercing shriek and twitch-inducing whine at a time.  And let me tell you,  it's a very slow, very painful death.

Kiernan is on the move.  In the last week he has progressed past his "inchworm" moving to full on big-boy crawling.  Then he started pulling himself up on his knees while holding onto the couch and just a few short days later he started to pull himself from his knees to his feet.  Now he's pulling himself up onto EVERYTHING.  But the problem is that he's still arching his back quite a bit.  So one minute he's standing, the next minute he's hurling himself backward and knocking his head on the floor.  Then of course the screams ensue.  Therefore in a effort to save my eardrums and his ability to use his brain in the future, I spend a good portion of the day just following him around.

Beckett is going through some big time Mommy separation anxiety.  If I stray more than 5 feet from him, the screams start.  Honestly, you'd think someone was pulling off his fingernails.  He requires my presence at all times and my full attention 75 percent of his waking hours.  Of course, this is not at all possible with 2 very mobile brothers so the wails continue.  I need to get a pair of earplugs.

Poor Brennan isn't getting enough attention.  For the most part, he's very good at entertaining himself and staying out of any serious amounts of trouble.  But let's be honest, it can only last so long for a 2.5 year old boy.  Yesterday, in 30 minutes, he managed to dump an entire bag of goldfish crackers on the floor, rub smear half of a tube of cortisone cream on his legs, hook (and yank) Beckett's head with his butterfly net ... 3 times, and empty all of the toilet bowl water onto the bathroom floor while giving his shorts a bath.  All while I was cleaning each of his previous messes and attempting to clean the poop off of the back of Kiernan's neck from the epic blowout he decided to bestow upon me.

Couple all of this with the twins being completely out of sync with their nap schedules for two straight days, Brennan refusing to nap for one of the days, having to do bedtime by myself one of the days, and taking all 3 boys to my (rather in-depth) doctor appointment with me leaves me completely and totally physically and mentally exhausted.

I don't have time to do the most basic tasks around the house.  I don't have time (or enough silence) to make phone calls.  I don't have time to make a menu plan or grocery list, let alone grocery shop.

But if you ask me in all seriousness if I would go back to work tomorrow if given the chance I'd tell you no.  Glutton for punishment or just determined to spend as much of my boys' childhood with them as I can?

You tell me.

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