You know that friend that you can literally say ANYTHING to and know you won't be judged? The one that will go have a drink with you before your first waxing appointment. The one that you can call and cry to when you're having a really bad, short-tempered Mommy day. The one you can commiserate with about feeling fat and ugly and depressed and know that she really understands.
I'm lucky enough to have a lot of great friends, both here in Florida and back in Michigan. But my friend Jessica is definitely the one I can turn to for anything. We can share the goriest of details with each other, disagree on controversial issues, and have great conversations with our chaotic households in the background. Some of our text conversations are my favorite though. Short, sweet tidbits of life exchanged when our kids are screaming too loudly for us to call each other.
This is by far one of my favorite texting conversations. Ever.
Jess: So I've decided I'm a man ... I just had my beard waxed last Wednesday and it's already coming in strong. Damn. Nasty. Fat and bearded.
Me: You're not a man. You're just hormonally challenged.
Jess: Hormonally a dude.
Jess: Wish my metabolism was like a dude.
Me: That's why I stay fat. So I'm not attractive to other men. It's a favor to Brian & the rest of mankind really.
Jess: lol you're too funny
Me: You're just doing the same thing - saving your marriage. Your hubby should thank you. If you weren't bearded the boys would be flocking and he'd be all jealous. It's really in everyone's best interest.
Jess: I think once a dude found out our vags had 2 and 3 babies they wouldn't be interested anyway
Me: Touche my friend, touche.
That, my friends, is true friendship.