I started to open my eyes and found myself nose-to-nose with a sweet little face.
"Mommy, wake up. You need to help me go pee-pee!"
"Okay kiddo" I said as I fumbled for my glasses, grumbling a bit and lamenting the fact that I decided to put away the potty chair and make him get used to going on his seat on the big potty ... which of course he needs help with 75% of the time.
As I climbed out of bed I glanced at the clock -- 4:07 a.m.
Three years ago, at that exact minute, I brought that little boy into the world. Sure I had help - a loving hubby, a supportive doctor, my BFF and a team of great nurses who are also great friends. But in the end, it was just me and Brennan. I'm the one he knows will always be there for him, the one he wakes up in the wee hours of the morning for help.
After all of the potty business was over, he climbed into our bed and he snuggled up between Brian and I. With his head resting on my chest, he sighed and said, "I love you Mommy."
"I love you too baby. More than you'll ever know." Tears welled in my eyes.
"Oh Mommy, I know."
When he has his own babies someday, he'll get it. He'll love them with the intensity that his Daddy and I love him and his brothers - a love so fierce you would give up everything and anything for them. And I can't wait for him to get to experience that. This little boy, this sweet baby who made me a mama for the first time. I just love him more than words can describe.
As I drifted back to sleep, I promised myself to remember not to grumble too much when he wakes me up for something. Because while I'll always be here for him, someday I won't be the one that he turns to in the dark of the night if he needs something. So for now, I'll try to embrace the troubles that come along with parenting, because someday I know that I'll miss them.
Happy Birthday Brennan, my sweet little bug. I love you more than life.