Mystery rash.

I had grand plans of sitting down to write a Twin Weight Tuesday post last night after the boys went to bed. 
It was shaping up nicely to work out well as I had for once actually taken advantage of the boys' synchronized afternoon nap for once and accomplished something other than running or napping.  Dishes were done, bottles washed, toys picked up, and I even got myself dressed.  That, my friends, is a big afternoon.


Kiernan was the first one to wake up.  Poor kid has had some runny poops lately and it's causing a nasty bum rash, so I've been trying to let him run around without a diaper on as much as possible to let it breathe.  So far, I've been lucky and only had to clean up a few puddles here and there.

Not this time.  Nope.  That kid defacated on my family room rug four times in 30 minutes.  And we're talking mucousy-this-should-have-come-out-of-his-nose-poop mixed with undigested food.  (You're welcome for that.  Enjoy your breakfast.) 

So as I'm attempting to wrestle him out of his diarrhea-decorated romper, I notice that he's covered in a weird rash.  I had seen some marks on his hip earlier that morning, but figured it was irritation from his diaper or that he body-slammed one of his brothers to hard or something.  But now he had the dots on his front and back from his neck to his boy parts, some on his arms, and a few on his legs. 

Now I did spend 4 years of my life learning how to be a nurse and 6 years of my life actually using those skills, so I know a little something about something.  These "dots" were pretty textbook petechiae, except that they were more spread out and not in clusters like petechiae usually are.  I thought it was odd enough to call the pediatrician to see if they might want to see him in the morning, especially since I could then get his butt rash checked out too.

So when I explained what was going on to the nurse, she cut me off and said "You need to take him to the ER."   Ummmmmm, what?  He was perfectly happy.  No fever.  No other symptoms of anything.  But apparently all kids who have a petechiae-like rash are sent immediately to the ER.  Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200.

I called Brian, who immediately left the office and dropped Kiernan and I off at the ER.  I felt like a big giant idiot walking into the ER with my happy, smiling baby with dots on his body that are only visible with his clothes off.  Ugggghhhh.

Long story short, they think it's some kind of viral rash.  I had a nice little chat with the arrogant-as-hell PA who initially tried to tell me that they weren't petechiae as I had described to the pediatrician's triage nurse.  I very politely recited the definition of petechiae for him and demonstrated that my child's "rash" very clearly fit into the description.  So when he found out that I was a nurse and he couldn't just poo-poo, he took a step or two down the asshole ladder to explain that they are technically petechiae, just mild and not the type that they worry about.  Thanks buddy.  You could've said that in the first place.  I sure as hell am not even close to an expert in pediatric illness, but you don't have to make me feel guilty about properly describing my child's symptoms and following instructions.  Asshat.

After our nice little chat, he checked Kiernan over and said he thought his throat looked a bit red.  He ran a rapid strep test, which can back negative and told us to follow up with the pediatrician today.  So this afternoon we're off to see the doctor and see if this is anything to worry about.  Oh, and?  Don't Google petechiae in infants.  I'm glad I knew better than to do it before we were at the ER.  It would have scared the shit-bricks out of me.

But my guy was a trooper and was happy and as charming as ever for the whole hospital visit.  Oh my sweet moody boy!