12:21.

It's 1a.m.   I can't sleep because I have adrenaline coursing through my veins. 

Tonight I went out for a "run".  I went with no expectations.  No plans.  Just my husband kicking my ass out the door because I mentioned that I might try to run and he wasn't going to let me make excuses. 

I felt like it was going to be ugly.  No, worse than ugly.  I mean, I haven't moved faster than what's absolutely necessary to keep up with my children in almost 9 months.  And I'm getting over a cold.  And I now weigh just 2 pounds less than when I was full term preggo with the Brothers.  And while all of those things should be reasons to get out there, they've so far been reasons to stay on the couch. 

So as I wandered very reluctantly out the door, I fired up Runkeeper and picked a workout.  A nice, easy 20 minute workout.  I can do anything for 20 minutes.  I think.

I walked for a few minutes, slowly picking up my pace until the Runkeeper lady told me to start running.  So I ran.  I just kept a nice steady pace.  Nothing that stress my lungs, but brisk enough to work up a really good sweat. 

It wasn't actually too hard to keep going.  Brian waited for me at the corner near our house, not saying much as I ran by, just showing me that he's there for me.    He is, and always will be, my biggest supporter. 

The last few minutes were tough.  I looked at my phone at one point, saw that I only had 0.17 miles to go and laughed at myself.  So close!  Just.Keep.Moving.

When Runkeeper lady told me to walk, I started crying.  I just ran a mile.  Without stopping.  Here I am - hella overweight asthmatic girl with a cold who hasn't run in 9 months.  And I ran a mile.  Self-doubt = shattered. 

I walked home at a pretty brisk pace so that I could share my excitement with Bri.  When I pulled up my splits, I couldn't believe my eyes when it said that I did my mile in 12:21. 

TWELVE MINUTES AND TWENTY ONE SECONDS.  Yes.  I'm yelling.  That needs to be yelled.

That, my friends, is fast for me.  And while it's literally half the speed at which my husband runs, he was so damn proud of me too.  Because I got out there and got out of my own head and didn't let myself talk me out of if.  9 months of no running, 30+ pounds heavier, and I just ran a whole mile.  

I still feel like I'm on cloud 9.  I can't wait to run again tomorrow.  No really.  I'm totally serious. This, my friends, is the start of something very cool.  I can feel it.  

Twin Weight Tuesday {11.6.12}.

This is going to be short and sweet.

Down another pound.  So that's great.

Ran 9 miles on Saturday.  It was my last long run before my race this Sunday and it felt good.  I feel less nervous about the race than I did, but I'm still hella nervous.

This week is gonna be hard to squeeze runs in with all of my travel, but I think I have it figured out.

While the weight is dripping off a bit slowly, I'm definitely losing inches.  I haven't taken measurements recently, but things are fitting better and I'm branching out with my wardrobe choices .... mama even bought some skinny jeans.  Holy hell.

I know, horizontal stripes are a no-no, but it's so comfy!  

Twin Weight Tuesday {10.30.12}.

So ... how bout a last minute Twin Weight Tuesday post?

It's definitely been awhile since I felt like writing one.  Not because I fell off the wagon or anything, I just didn't feel like I had anything new and interesting to write about.  Until this weekend...

I ran 11.7 miles.  Well, ran and walked.  I ran for an hour, walked for 10 minutes, ran for another hour, walked for another 10 minutes, and then ran for another 27 minutes.  And you know what?  It felt pretty good.  My legs really started to cramp up at the end, so I stopped 3 minutes early.  But I have to say, I'm insanely proud of myself.

And?  My hubby was pretty damn amazing as well that day.  There I was, 20 minutes into my second hour of running and dying for a drink of water, when I saw this SUV drive by and slow down as it passed me.  After a double take, I realized it was Brian and the boys, bringing me water and cheering me on.  They met me after another 20 minutes to give me some more water and give me another pep talk, then headed home and met me as I turned into our neighborhood for my last 30 minutes.  It's amazing how great that man can be.  Love him to pieces.

So I'm in the home stretch.  Less than 2 weeks til my big race.  eek.  NERVOUS.

Running in the rain.

I had another one of "those days" today.  And I have to admit that I didn't fare so well.  When Brian walked in the door at 6:30, I wanted to run for the nearest coffee shop with my laptop and a big huge nonfat pumpkin spice latte.

But I had an hour and a half run that needed to be attended to and Brian looked at me and said "Baby, you have to do this" so I just went.

I wasn't very happy about it.  It was raining, getting dark, and I was just plain not in the mood to run.  But halfway into that first mile, a switch flipped in my brain.  The rain felt good on my skin and smelled amazing.  I love the rain.  It's calming.  Relaxing.  Serene.

Twin Weight Tuesday {8.21.12}.

Another week, another pound lost.  

The best part?  That's a total of 10 pounds lost.  BOOM.

I'm so excited by this.  It's fuel for my motivation to keep going and it just makes me feel better about myself as a whole.

I busted out the next size down in jeans yesterday to try them on and they fit.  Not incredibly well, but they work.  And when I walked into my therapist's office today she said that I look like I've lost weight and I was so excited I could've covered her in slobbery kisses right then and there.  

My lungs are finally feeling better so I'm gonna get back to my training schedule.  Until now, I've just been dabbling in running intermittently with walking, but I finally feel like I can run without keeling over into a big pile of wheezing flab.  

I can't wait to see how well the weight loss is going to go once I really get back to running.  I'm 2 pounds away from achieving goal #2 and I'd be ecstatic to hit it next week.  Squeeeeeee!

Sorry, that's totally obnoxious.  I can't guarantee I won't be even more obnoxious if I do in fact hit that goal next week....

Twin Weight Tuesday {8.14.12}.

Wow, is this blog getting boring, or what?

I have about a million post ideas sitting in my queue and life is just a little too chaotic to sit down and work on any of them at the moment.  Some day I'll get an hour to sit and write and you'll get a crapstorm of thoughts from my head.  I'm sure everyone is jumping up and down in anticipation, amiright??

What life hasn't gotten too chaotic for is health and fitness.  I'm really proud of myself for making it a priority.  I haven't been able to get any really good runs in because I'm still a bit sick and my asthma is making it difficult.  But I'll get back on track as soon as I can breathe well.

But I have some pretty good news.  I'm pretty stoked that I've HIT GOAL NUMBER 1!!!!  Woo hoo!!

I can't remember if I've written about my goals yet, so here's a quick rundown.

Twin Weight Tuesday {8.7.12}.

I'm sick.  So in the interest of brevity and preserving energy to care for my children, today's post will be a bit choppy.

I lost a pound this week.  Woo to the Hoo.

As you may have read here, I ran 2 miles straight.  And it felt amazing.  Since then, my runs have been less than stellar, but I think that's because I was coming down with this flu-ish thing.

I've been eating well, but it could be better.  When I'm sick, I don't feel like eating much, but what I do want what sounds good, and that's not always healthy (read: milk shakes).  Whatever.  I don't have much more to say about it than that.

I'm hoping to start running again soon, but in order to avoid an asthma attack, I'm holding off.  Until I can run sans-wheezing, I'm going to continue with some strength training (as suggested by my hubby and my friend Monica ... thanks Monica!).  But I'll be honest, I barely have the strength to lift my children right now, so that won't be happening in the next day or two.

That's all I have to say.  I'll be on the couch tossing my children goldfish crackers to keep them busy if anyone needs me.

Twin Weight Tuesday ... on Wednesday {8.1.12}.

Well hey, look at me!  Two posts in one day!  Spectacular.

I have good news, and I have bad news.

You may remember that I opted not to weigh in for a few weeks because I didn't have my scale.  And you also may remember that while I rocked it at running the first week and a half of vacation, I also sucked balls at eating.  Actually, I ate very well, just not healthy AT ALL.  And then the second week I had practically no physical activity, but we were so busy that I didn't eat much at all.  I also opted out of weighing in last Tuesday because of the sheer terror of what the amount of fast food that was consumed on our road trip home would have done to the number on the scale.  So I decided to wait til this week.

Twin Weight Tuesday {7.10.12}.

Well, I decided not to weigh in for a few weeks.  We're in Michigan and I don't want to weigh myself on a scale that's not mine and end up falsely disappointed or excited.  So I'll just wait and see what I weigh when I get home in a few weeks.

Eating well is going to be TOUGH these next next few weeks.  I come from a family of big eaters.  Our family gatherings always include big, elaborate meals and my uncle is an incredible cook.  Recording my calories is helping, but it certainly isn't going to be easy.  I just have to keep focusing on the end results and reminding myself that being thinner will be far better in the long run than this one cookie!

Running is going pretty well.  I've completed week 4 of couch to 5K training, but my ankle is REALLY hurting lately, so I'm trying to space out my running to every other day.  I have a bit of a bad feeling about it, but I'm just going to take it slow and then make a trip to the doctor when I get home.  If I have a stress fracture or something and have to take 6 weeks off, I'm going to be in trouble.  But I'd rather have to take time off now than in October or something.  Either way it'll be detrimental to my half marathon training, but it's more managable to rest sooner rather than later. 

I enjoyed a nice 9 mile bike ride with my hubby over the weekend.  He wanted to go out for a run and I needed to get some exercise without stressing my ankle, so I biked while he ran and it was magnificent.  Great workout and nice quality time. 

Woo Hoo!! {Twin Weight Tuesday}.

I was nervous to step on the scale this morning.  

I've been watching what I eat, recording every tiny morsel of food that goes into my mouth.  I've been diligently getting on the treadmill, training for my 5K.  And if the numbers on the scale didn't move, I knew I'd be SUPER frustrated and it'd be tough to get myself back on track.  

But guess what.  They moved!  

 

I lost 4 pounds!  Hell freaking yeah.  

I've almost completed week 3 of Couch to 5K training and it's going well.  It's getting easier and harder at the same time, which seems a bit weird.  The workouts are getting tougher, but I think my body is adjusting well to running, so it's starting to feel strangely good to get in a tough workout.  This is the good stuff, people.  This is the way I remember feeling when I used to run years ago.  

Of course, not every workout is good.  I attempted my last day of week 3 last night and just stopped halfway through and walked the rest.  My legs ached, my lungs hurt, and I just felt weak.  I'm blaming a crappy diet yesterday.

On the diet front, My Fitness Pal is going swimmingly.  I literally record every morsel of everything that goes into my mouth.  And recording small things is a big giant pain in the arse, so this is a nice deterrent from snacking on things as I prepare food for the boys.  

Trying to stay on track on the diet front will prove to be a bit challenging when we head to Michigan, but I'm determined to stay on course.  On the other hand, running will be easier as I'll have a wealth of babysitters around so that I can go for a run whenever I want.  Hopefully these will offset each other a bit!  

Back at it {Twin Weight Tuesday}.

I'm back in the saddle again.

I didn't get started back to the Couch to 5K training as quickly as I wanted, but after an emotional week and some soul searching, I took the plunge and got back on the treadmill.  And honestly, it felt good.

Sunday night I was on the treadmill when Brian left to take the dogs for a run.  I was on the last interval of my workout, and feeling really good, when I started wondering if I could run a mile.  I was running at a 12 minute/mile pace, so I did the math and decided I would just keep running til I saw that magic number on the screen or until I just couldn't run anymore.  A few minutes in, Brian walked in the door and I told him what I was doing and he stood right there next to the treadmill and talked me through it.

I didn't make my mile.  BUT I ran for just over 7 minutes straight.  That's way longer than I've run in a long time.  My legs felt like they could've gone on for days, but my lungs disagreed.  And having been an asthmatic for years, I know when to say when.  I was a little pissed off, but Brian reminded me that it's better to remind myself of that anger next time I don't want to go for a run than to beat myself up about it.  He's a smart cookie sometimes.

I'm not worried.  I'll hit that mile very soon.  And it'll be a proud moment.  Until then, I'm just going to keep getting back on the treadmill.

When motherhood gets in the way of fitness {Twin Weight Tuesday}.

I'm going to be completely honest - I'm struggling.

I knew it was going to be tough to start running again.  The original plan was to take a week off to rest and ice my ankle.  Then I ended up with kidney stones and a kidney infection, so there went another 5 days.  Then I started Cipro, which is a nasty, albeit effective, antibiotic which has left me with nausea that rivals the early days of my twin pregnancy.

I got on the treadmill last night despite my nausea to just get in a nice fast-paced walk.  I took my last pill this morning, so I'm planning to run tonight, but I wanted to get on the treadmill to see how my ankle was feeling before I actually tried to do a run.

Good news - the ankle felt great.  Bad news - Brennan got out of bed LITERALLY 23 times last night.  TWENTY THREE.

I'm honestly not exaggerating.  So after the fifth time getting off the treadmill to take him back to bed, I just called it quits because it was quite clear that I was going to have to get all Super-Nanny on his behind.

Luckily, Brian doesn't plan to work late tonight so he will be able to handle bedtime duties while I get on the treadmill.  Not to mention when I inevitably decide that I'm too tired to do it, he'll provide me with some words of encouragement (read: say things that are a bit harsh but that I've asked him to say to motivate me and that I'm not allowed to get mad at him for).

Wish me luck kids.

Week two, almost done {Twin Weight Tuesday}.

So, I'm not quite done with week two of the C25K training.

I did a day, which felt pretty good.  Then I tried to do another day and my foot was killing me, so I stopped, iced it, and decided to try again the next day.  Well, that day was consumed with packing for the trip.  As was the next day.  And then the next day was consumed with travelling ... the next two with wedding festivities ... the next with travelling.

The inside of my left leg, right above my ankle bone, is really painful lately.  It feels bruised and is sore to walk on, but there isn't any obvious bruising or bumps.  Brian is prescribing ice and rest and ice and more ice.  So I'm going to ice it for a few more days and get started again.

It's very frustrating.  I'm trying to do something healthy for myself and it seems that my body is fighting me.  My ankles and knees hurt, but that's something I can work through.  And honestly?  They're going to hurt.  They're carrying a whole lot of weight right now.

But there's a difference between pain I can work through and pain that I can't.  It's hard to describe.  It's not the severity of the pain, but more the type and whether it eventually subsides during the workout or gets worse.  Usually the joint pain subsides eventually, but this leg pain isn't subsiding.  The last thing I want to do is end up with a stress fracture or something of the sort that will throw off my training, so I'm going to take it easy, do what Dr. Brian recommends, and listen to my body.

Week one, done {Twin Weight Tuesday}.

I'm done with my first week of 5K training.  It wasn't pretty, but it's done.  I threw in an extra day because I just had an awful run on Thursday and wanted a re-do.

Last night I started week 2, which consists of a 5 minute brisk walk followed by intervals of 90 seconds of running and 2 minutes of brisk walking for 20 minutes.  I always keep walking til I hit a total of 30 minutes at the end because I've found that I really need a cool down walk.

I've also learned that I run faster outside than I do on the treadmill.  I kind of figured that, but never had any proof.  But the route I take outside is 2 miles long (carefully calculated my running Nazi coach) and the same amount of running turns up to be 1.8ish miles on the treadmill.  I've tried increasing my speed, but I just end up feeling like I'm going to fly off the back of the treadmill the whole time.  Not fun.

Last night Brian came into the workout room to see how I was doing.  I was on my 2nd of 6 intervals and I was struggling already.  On the 3rd interval I thought about stopping.  My knees and shins were killing me and I was just tired.  But I kept going and the 4th one was actually a little easier.  And on the 5th one I actually ran for 2 minutes instead of 90 seconds because I lost track of time.  After the 6th one I actually contemplated throwing in another few intervals because my legs were feeling good.  But last time I did that, I screwed up further runs because I was too sore.  So I walked for a good 4 minutes to cool down and went into the family room to stretch.

Brian asked me if it's starting to feel good yet, and the answer was NO.  And the soreness the next day isn't even a good sore yet.  It's just a "I feel fat and old and out of shape" sore.  But I am enjoying the feelings of accomplishment.  And that's what I'm focusing on every time it's time to get out there and run.

Committed {Twin Weight Tuesday ... on Wednesday}.

Hey, remember Operation Lose the Twin Weight?  And Twin Weight Tuesdays?  I do ... sort of.

OK, so I never really forgot, I just chose not to focus on it for awhile.  After playing with my calories, trying different workouts, getting frustrated, then anxious, then eating to cope with the anxiety, then getting depressed because I ate too much, then not working out because I was depressed ...

Yeah, I just kinda spiraled.  So I decided to take some time off and just live.  But this week I got back on the wagon and went for a run.  And you know what?  It felt good.

44:27.5 {Twin Weight Tuesday}.

On Sunday we woke up at the butt-crack of dawn (which I suppose is really no different than most days).  We got dressed in workout gear and loaded the boys in the car and headed to the park near our house for the Strawberry Festival 5K.  This is a pretty common occurance in our family as it's no secret that Brian is an psycho avid runner.

But this time was different.  This time I was the race participant and Brian stood on the sidelines to cheer me on.  It was odd to have this role reversal.  I've become an expert at scouring course maps to find strategically placed cheering spots.  I know his pre-race ritual like clockwork and am always available to hold shedded layers of clothing.  I know his paces for various race lengths and how much time I have to move between cheering spots.  

Twin Weight Tuesdays.

I didn't do a Twin Weight post last week because I was feeling {blegh} about weight loss in general.

But I'm back this week with good news.  I've lost a few more pounds and have reached my first of several small goals on the road to my overall goal.  It feels good to have accomplished something and that leaves me thirsting for more success.

Twin Weight Tuesdays. (Er, Wednesday ... again.)

Well, I'm happy to report that I lost a pound this week.  It's not much, but it's certainly a start.  And weight loss breeds motivation for me, so it's been a very positive thing.

Brian and I have also started counting our calories again.  We use apps on our phones to keep track and are able to see each others results too.  Even though he doesn't have any weight to lose in real life, he still would like to watch his calories.  And I think he does it to support me too.  It's easier to track when the person you live with is also tracking.  Even though he gets a whopping 1000 calories more than I do per day.  Sweet Jesus.

Monday night I attended a ballet class with my friend.  She suggested I join her before she knew that I danced for 10 years of my life.  After I informed her of that little tidbit, she was insistent.  I was intimidated by the idea.  I mean, it's been 15 years, 2 pregnancies, 3 babies, and about 80 pounds since I last set foot in a ballet class.  But she assured me that there were people of all levels and ages in this class and that all of the moves would come back to me once I started.  And she was right.  It all came rushing back to me.  My brain knew what to do, but my body COMPLETELY forgot.  Things that used to be simple were making me sweat and strain and almost fall flat on my face.  But it felt good to use muscles I haven't used in a very (very very very) long time.  I'm excited for next Monday!

Twin Weight Tuesdays.

My keyboard is getting a workout today.  I've started this post a million times and deleted every attempt.  I just don't have many words to describe how I feel about weight loss this week.  So I'll leave you with some of the pictures I've been looking at lately for motivation.

It's not about looking like this person again.  It's about feeling like her.  Feeling strong, energetic, and healthy.  I'll get there.

Twin Weight Tuesdays.

Woo Hoo!  Actually writing this on a Tuesday this week!

Anyways,  there isn't much to update on this week.  I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either, which is always a celebration in my book.  I'm working on finding the time and energy to workout each day.  These babies are not making it easy as we're having sleep troubles.  And honestly, the last thing that I want to do  when I'm running on 3 hours of sleep is work out.  So that's the current issue.  And when I'm tired and stressed, I eat.  So that's the other part of the issue.  Right now I'm trying to focus on jumping on the treadmill even if I have 10 minutes.  Because those 10 minutes are better than no time at all.

As weird as it sounds, my goal for this week is to straighten out the boys sleep struggles.  Because if I can work that out, I'll have more time to focus on exercise!