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Friday, March 16, 2012

Really? It bothers you? That's weird. I enjoy hearing my babies cry.

{look out folks ... there's a rant coming ...}

People are stupid and annoying.

Life with multiples is different from life with one baby at a time.  It just is.

When you have one baby at a time, generally if that baby is crying you are able to pick him up while dealing with older children.  But guess what?  When you have two babies, sometimes one of them has to cry for a few minutes.  It's not fair.  It's not enjoyable.  But it happens.

Of course if something is actually wrong I'll put one down to soothe the other.  Or just pick them both up at the same time (a skill that comes with practice over time and a constant adjustment of strategy according to their current weight/development/wiggliness).  

But sometimes, one is tired after his bath and doesn't want to be put down while mama bathes his brother.  Or one starts to get hungry while mama is putting his brother to bed.  Or they both want to be played with while mama needs to get big brother something to eat.  

It happens.  I don't enjoy listening to my children cry, but it is something that I've learned to deal with.  I anticipate needs and wants so I can try to avoid it as much as possible.  Still, I'm not perfect.  From the time the twins were only 4 weeks old it's been just me, by myself all day, with 2 babies and a toddler.  I have 2 arms and 3 children.  Crying happens in a household with any baby, let alone multiples. 

When I hear people say to me, "Oh, I just don't like to hear them cry" I get insanely frustrated.  Do you think I like to hear my children cry?  These boys are 3 pieces of my heart walking around outside of my body and no one likes it when their heart hurts.  But because they are my children, I also know when they are actually in need of something and when they are just mad.  And those mad cries are a {tiny} bit easier to listen to while I attend to the needs of another.  

So if you ever run into a mother of multiples, do her a favor and don't make a comment about her kids crying.  She's already doing her best to care for all of her babies at the same time.  And comments, sometimes even sympathetic well meaning ones, build up over time and eventually just make her feel frustrated.  So smile.  Ask if she wants some help.  Offer to babysit or just come over some adult company some time.  Bring alcohol.  But please, don't comment on the crying.  Unless of course you are affirming the mother of multiples mantra that it sucks big donkey balls, but babies will sometimes just have to cry.  Then feel free to comment.  She just might hug you and break down into tears.

 Oh, and p.s. saying things to a baby when you're trying to make a point to his mother is so insanely passive aggressive. Grow a set and say what you mean.

{end rant}


  1. I especially love that last little passive-aggressive tid-bit.

    1. It's times like this that I miss work so that I could come in and vent to you guys!!


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